Jupiter Ascending
Category Action , Sci-Fi
Year: 2015
Time: 127 minutes
Production: Warner Bros
Director: The Wachowskis
Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Eddie Redmayne, Sean Bean, Douglas Booth
MPAA PG-13 / UK12A
Our Rating 4/10 - looks great, but just boring!
Watchability 2/10

Jupiter Jones is a Russian immigrant who works in the family business cleaning the houses of rich folk, and dreams of a better life. Meanwhile, across the galaxy, a power struggle is underway between the children of the ruling dynasty, and Jupiter’s life is about to change when it is discovered that she shares the same DNA match as the deceased matriarch and is set to inherit ownership of the Earth.

So, how does it end?

Caine takes Jupiter to the house of his former commander, Stinger (Sean Bean), who for some reason is holed up on Earth.  Bounty Hunters and bad guys working for the Abrasax family descend on their position, and there’s a big firefight.  The Bounty Hunters capture Jupiter, but it turns out they are working for the good guys so that’s ok.  On the ship, Jupiter falls for Caine.

They arrive at a far off planet, where Jupiter claims her birthright and regal status.  She meets the other Abrasax, and learns that the secret to their eternal youth is that they harvest people and use their life essence for their own gains.  All the while, Stinger has betrayed Caine and he is pushed out of an airlock to his death - but manages to survive thanks to his Nike Air Jordan’s.

Titus convinces Jupiter to marry him, so they can rule together for the good of the galaxy and bring about an end to the life harvesting.  Caine manages to stop the wedding, and Titus comes clean that he was lying to her.

Balem Abrasax decides to up the stakes, and sends his lizard bodyguard to kidnap Jupiter’s family. He tries to force Jupiter to give up her status in return for her family.  Stinger has a change of heart, and teams up with Caine to break into Balem’s home planet for a rescue. The life-force mining operation is damaged, and starts to break apart the planet.  Caine defeats the lizard bodyguards, gets the family out, then rescues Jupiter just as Balem falls to his death.

Later, Jupiter and Caine are back on Earth. For his heroic deeds, he has his wings back, and she has a matching pair of hover boots.

3.00/10 ( 2 Votes )
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