Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Category Action , Adventure , Horror
Year: 2013
Time: 88 minutes
Production: Paramount Pictures
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Gemma Arterton, Jeremy Renner, Famke Janssen, Peter Stormare, Pihla Viitala
MPAA R / UK-15
Our Rating 6/10
Watchability 6/10
Tag-line Revenge is sweeter than candy

Since they were abandoned by their parents at a young age in a forest and had to fend for themselves against an evil witch, Hansel & Gretel have grown up to be fearless Bounty Hunters, killing witches for fun and rescuing kids. But this time they might have met their match with an enemy whose name is so powerful it creates fear in all who hear it ....... wait for it ........  Muriel.

So, how does it end?

The siblings work out that there is a 'blood moon' coming up, and the witches need one last child from the village. They kidnap one of the main witch's aides to entice them in, and set up a vigil that night, but are unprepared for Muriel's powers.  Hansel is out in the forest and healed by Mina at a magical spring. Meanwhile the young lad in the village with a thing for Gretel, takes care of her.

Gretel enters the forest to look for her brother, but the Sheriff and his men spring a trap and beat her, blaming her for letting the witches escape.  Edward, the troll, shows up and rescues Gretel.  The siblings meet up, and find a burned-out cabin - which is their family home, and has a witch's lair beneath. Muriel reappears, and they piece together the story - their mother was a white witch (a nicer one apparently) who cast a safety spell on her kids, then the father got them out of the village before the villagers attacked.  The mother was burnt alive, while the father was hanged when he returned.

Muriel stabs Hansel, then kidnaps Gretel to use her for their sacrifice. Mina again heals Hansel, and reveals herself as a white witch. They return to their arsenal of weapons, and put some magic potion over them to make them more effective.

It's time now for the big festival, and all the witches show up.  Hansel and Mina disrupt their enjoyment, and kill the witches with a machine gun and various weapons. Muriel fights back, and Edward is thrown from the cliff, but she is the only one to escape. Gretel returns the favour and uses her stun gun to bring the troll back to life.

So Hansel, Gretel and Mina face off against Muriel at the house of the first witch they killed. Mina doesn't last long and is stabbed, and dies in Hansel's arms. The brother and sister team up and finally get the better of Muriel - until Hansel's blood-sugar levels run low. Gretel manages to give him an injection just in time, and they wrap a chain around Muriel's head, decapitate her, and leave the head in the witch's oven.

Rich from the bounty, Hansel, Gretel, the young fanboy and Edward the troll embark on their next adventure.


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